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Are you suffering from inbox chaos? Why would you want to achieve Inbox Zero? Can you imagine what it would be like to open your inbox each morning with a small and manageable number of emails to address? Inbox Zero is that by the end of the day it is empty, everything dealt with and that wonderful feeling of satisfaction it will bring. A feeling you have taken back control.
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When you are looking for the right coach, there is something important to consider. When you need support, whether it is for a flat tyre, to buy a special outfit, help for a worrying health condition, or if you want some coaching/therapy, I think it is safe to say we all want quick results. But I think the point is that we want ‘quick’ and we want ‘results’. But can we have them both?
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Stress and COVID. A year on and we are still in the midst of a global pandemic – who could have imagined it but for a screenwriter?
While the vaccine is supposed to help, none of them yet provide 100% protection. So, we still need to do what we can to protect ourselves until the virus is eradicated completely.
We already know that underlying health conditions such as diabetes, inflammatory conditions, asthma, hay fever, auto-immune diseases can all make us more vulnerable. It is now understood that having a highly stressful lifestyle also makes us vulnerable to it. This stacks up as stress does impact our immune system.
So, time for some myth-busting insights to help protect you better understand Stress and COVID:
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Today is Blue Monday, allegedly the most depressing day of the year. But with the most challenging Christmas in at least my memory, and COVID not looking like it’s over anytime soon, Blue Monday is even more challenging.
But, just because it’s called Blue Monday, doesn’t mean we have to give into it. It isn’t a blueprint for how to feel. There are some simple things you can do to lift your mood, whether it is Blue Monday or any other day, whether COVID is here or long gone. And I share some other tips to help 2021 get off to a good start. Call it a new beginning. I will give them to you in two parts: one to uplift your mood and another to create momentum.
In this article I explore how stress in one person can lead to a crisis within an organisation, it’s client base and beyond. I share with you not only how it happened but what could have been done to avert the crisis too.
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Several people have spoken to me about the challenge they have in working from home. There are those for whom this is a real boon and boosts their productivity. But there are those for whom it is something close to a living nightmare. Starving for connection and distraction, the thought of hunkering down, isolated, can feel very difficult indeed.
I do hope these tips help you, whatever your situation. It’s a fairly long post because I wanted to cover off as much of the common working-from-home problems as possible. You may want to skip to sections relevant to you, or read through the whole thing. It should only take a few minutes.
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The Your Stress at Work Survey has been completed and it has some interesting insights I wanted to share with you.
It seems that stress has reached epidemic proportions, and the impact on individuals at work has been significant. The main themes are given below. Grab a coffee (or chamomile tea) and read on.
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Coaching is a wonderful tool for those who care about getting results with more ease: it helps you achieve your goals by creating practical action plans, using tools and techniques to help achieve them and helping you to build skills to facilitate the change you seek.
Integrative Coaching does the same but it goes deeper, if required. Because sometimes there is a reason that goal achievement is elusive, or perhaps challenging. Integrative Coaching looks at what is blocking you. Unless the blocks are removed, problems will recur, especially in times of challenge. Integrative Coaching, a more sustainable approach, will look at the psychological blocks, the biological ones (tired all the time is a common factor), the emotional ones (stress and anxiety for example) plus more.
Author Philippe Rosinski says it is “… a holistic approach that calls upon multiple interconnected perspectives to facilitate the unleashing of human potential towards meaningful pursuits … from the physical to the spiritual.” In the A-HEAD for Success terms, spiritual is all about purpose and meaning. When you are aware of and completely aligned to that, everything else becomes easier and clearer.
Integrative Coaching is at the forefront of The A-HEAD for Success 5D Coaching Model ™ which helps provide three levels of integrative coaching through the 5 Dimensions (Clarity, Skillset, Mindset, Stress-Resilience, Health and Energy). Of course we only work at the level of need but the process helps identify the need which is different for everyone.
Conventional coaching tends to be somewhat formulaic and will not always address the finer details which can so impact on us. Integrative Coaching helps address the complexity of what it means to be a functioning person in a dynamic world.
Want to know how it might help you? Call me, Tricia Woolfrey, on 0345 130 0854 to find out more. Calls are no-obligation and completely confidential.
© Tricia Woolfrey
They say that you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. What about work colleagues? When it comes to poor working relationships, for the most part we are either stuck with them or we find another job.
The longer we put up with it the worse it can be and the higher our stress levels. So, what to do about it? The causes can vary widely from problems at home, to differences in communication style and many more. This is such a broad subject – worthy of a book of its own – but a simple strategy can help:
A good starting point is to look at the motivations/values of the person you are having difficulty with. When you understand where they are coming from it makes it easier to communicate with them. I was working with one client whose values included getting things right, whereas his colleague’s was all about being on time. They often had rows about the quality of things before release. It wasn’t even that one didn’t respect timing or the other quality, it was the driving value which got in the way. More about this later.
Though there may be much you disagree on, there will also be common ground. Build on this and everything becomes that bit easier. In the case above, the common ground was that they wanted to be perceived as doing the right thing for their boss, they just disagreed on what the right thing was: to be on time or be perfect.
Remember that you aren’t there to like each other but to produce a result. Of course it’s always easier if you can get along but the acknowledgement that you don’t have to like the other person can take the pressure off. Conflict can turn into respect which can turn into collaboration.
The following image helps you to decide whether it is important for you to compete, collaborate, avoid, accommodate or compromise. This is essential when considering your working relationships Each requiring differing levels of assertiveness and co-operativeness. Each have a role to play but you need to think very carefully before competing, avoiding or accommodating as these can have negative consequences even though they may at times seem like the easiest option.
For example, accommodating someone who doesn’t listen to your needs simply teaches them to ignore your needs in the future causing deepening resentment. On the other hand, it can be helpful to build goodwill. It is all a balancing what you are giving up versus what you are gaining and simply choosing your default mode can build problems instead of neutralise them. It helps to be more strategic than reactive.
Apologies but I am not sure of the source of this graphic so thank you, whoever you are!
For the most part, collaborating and compromise are the best way. It certainly was in the case I described above but they were treating the situation as a competition. As it happened, quality was much less important than timeliness in this case. But sometimes it is the other way round. And at other times it may be a little bit late and a little less perfect. It is about understanding the bigger picture. But often we get engrossed in our own perspective and lose sight of what’s really important.
Working relationships are so important to achieving more success with less stress and I do hope that the above go some way towards improving yours. If you do need additional support on this complex issue, why not call to find out how. I can be reached on 0345 130 0854.
I also run courses on Influencing Skills where we cover this. Let me know if you are interested.
(c) Tricia Woolfrey
It’s hard not to get through life without a sense of regret: something you did which you shouldn’t have done; something you didn’t do which you should have. We’ve all had those moments. And of course sometimes there are consequences which could not be foreseen and for which we chastise ourselves nevertheless.
The repercussions can be subtle or profound. But, internally, guilt or shame can be uncomfortable consequences. And it can really impact your stress levels.
The list goes on. But, what’s important to know is that the past is irretrievable. The present is all there is because the future hasn’t happened yet.
So, what to do? First of all, understand the difference between guilt and shame.
Guilt is the concept that you did something bad; shame is the concept that you are bad. One is about behaviour, the other is about identity. Too often we let shame be our judge and shame is a destructive emotion which belittles, dishonours and disconnects. It certainly skews perspective and can paralyse.
Where possible to take remedial action:
Yes, regret can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to define you.
If you are stuck in regret and need additional help, do call me on 0345 130 0854 or get in touch here. You don’t have to do this alone.
© Tricia Woolfrey
